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Perfection is Death.

The often unbelievable tales of my life.

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actor_au

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July 1st, 2015

My Day.


A pretty uneventful day overall really. I got up and sorted out my brothers breakfast and then wrote the massive entry I did for yesterday, I actually had to leave the house and go and work at the library because my mother came over to my brothers place and I really just wanted to write and she is distracting.
There were a lot of children in the library today because of school holidays so they were loud and playing on everything which was slightly distracting.
Once I finished my writing I packed up my computer and went home, grabbed a clean change of clothes and then went back to my brothers house to make dinner(Chorizos and Onion, Garlic and Tomato with Pasta), Watched the Good Game E3 special(I really do prefer the years that Bajo goes over the years that Hex goes, he's funnier, she's better at getting the mood of the convention but waffles on a bit sometimes, the Spawn Point E3 special is where the real action is, so we'll see how it goes on that show on the weekend).

Final Word Count: 37419, almost half of what I wrote last year. A really sad trend downwards. I blame the fact that I've been actually having to get up early in the morning and going to sleep on time. I can't stay up until 2am writing anymore and need to learn how to manage my time more effectively. Also I'm straining for topics to write on because I've nearly tapped out my library experiences right now.
Overall I'm okay with this month, not happy really because I really really dropped the ball on a lot of days, but I'm okay with having a bad month every now and then. Hopefully I'll be better and rested next year.

Goals for the year.


  • I say this every year, but Get a Job and keep it for a while.
  • Buy a new Laptop.
  • Buy a new cassette, chain and rings for my bike.
  • Ride my bike more.
  • Actually participate in NaNoWriMo this year.
  • Move out of my dads house.
  • Move out of my brothers house.
  • Somehow survive Christmas.
  • Enter into a few writing competitions and see how I do.


June, a month in Review.


(*) denotes that I went to a library that day(I'm counting the small Toy library I volunteer at because I can).
(Incomplete) means that because of either illness or sleep deprivation I didn't finish this entry completely and I might come back to the topic next year.



Monday 1. I got tickets for the Story Bridge 75th anniversary party.
Topic: Once again we blogjune. My year in review.
Tuesday 2. Took my bike wheels to the shop and didn't get them fixed.
Topic: Two kinds of nerdy things. My weekend at DragonCon.
Wednesday 3. Bought my brother his Birthday present.
Topic: Cooking on Three Continents.
Thursday 4. Paid my car registration and bought some comic books(*).
Topic: For I am also a librarian. Going to libraries overseas to get away from the tourism.
Friday 5. My brothers birthday and I rode my bike for the first time in ages.
Topic: Five Kilometres and back again. Tourists using my library.
Saturday 6. My brother and his family came over for lunch, all six of us.
Topic: The Very Quiet Young Ladies Guide to Dealing with Multiple Personalities, part 4.



Sunday 7. Played Soccer, finished Grim Fandango and got a good seven hours of sleep.
Topic: Short Story Sunday: Bathmophobia.
Monday 8. Ate a steak and also redid my resume from scratch before applying for a job at UQ(spoiler alert, I didn't get it).
Topic: (Incomplete because I spent the night on my resume and writing selection criteria).
Tuesday 9. Spammed the hell out of my school because I didn't realise an automatic process was sending emails by the dozens every time I pressed a button and I pressed the button a lot to test out stuff. Had my Resume chopped down even more by a mate in England(*).
Topic: The Library in Portland.
Wednesday 10. Got a headache from not drinking enough water or something. Also tested a bunch of old headphones.(*)
Topic: (Incomplete because I was sick).
Thursday 11. I attempted Crochet for the first time ever. It went poorly.(*)
Topic: Managing Volunteers.
Friday 12. Went to Archives after getting a haircut, that counts as a library doesn't it?
Topic: Finding Volunteer Opportunities.
Saturday 13. Played some Quake Live at a mate's house and also some command and conquer red alert 3.
Topic: (Incomplete because I was lazy and tired).



Sunday 14. Won at Soccer. Got a curry. Discovered that Thomas was Alone.
Topic: No Pink about it, bright lights forward. A story missing an individual sigil, 5th sigil it turns out. Much popular that sigil in words and such.
Monday 15. Wrote a short story, fixed a roof, shelved some books.(*)
Topic: The ludicrous amounts of killing required to make a library in Minecraft.
Tuesday 16. Went to my writers club, banned myself from the internet. (*)
Topic: What I did during the G20.
Wednesday 17. I conducted a tour of the Distant lines exhibition with this blind old lady and a few other people. (*)
Topic: The logistics of Iron Shirts: Cycling to work.
Thursday 18. Helped a girl charge her phone, fell asleep on the bus.(*)
Topic: Packing for a trip, how to bring the smallest amount of everything you need.
Friday 19. Fixed my wheel alignment, downloaded a game, freed up 120gB of space on my PC.
Topic: Exhibits in Library's.
Saturday 20. Had a really dull Saturday where I had nothing to do and did nothing.
Topic: (Incomplete because I'm lazy)



Sunday 21. Pulled a Hamstring in a game and couldn't get off the field, played on for the last ten minutes limping.
Topic: Short Story Sunday: A Broken Cadillac on a Mountainside.
Monday 22. Was too lazy to go to the kitchen to get Panadol so I took some prescription Painkillers I had from when I last had surgery. Was zonked out for the entire day as a result.
Topic: (Incomplete because I was stoned out of my brain on painkillers)
Tuesday 23. Spent an afternoon untangling a few hundred cables. (*)
Topic: 23 TV Shows you should be watching. Because I wanted to get the date in there and only just now realised I could have said 2-3 TV shows you should be watching.
Wednesday 24. Got a phone call saying I was up for a job interview while ducking calls from Electronic Boutique because of bad reviews of the new Batman game for PC. Also lived through a boring power outage. (*)
Topic: Finding Time to Write.
Thursday 25. Saw Jurassic World, did a phone interview for a job and someone started a fire under the Queen Street Mall. (*)
Topic: How many pages should a resume be?
Friday 26. Found a giant snake on the road just chilling out and not caring about anything, locked myself out of a computer network, finished work on my catalogue and mini-library.(*)
Topic: Managing Volunteers.
Saturday 27. The pain in my knee is officially gone now and I played Far Cry 4,
Topic: (Incomplete because I was actually getting a normal nights sleep for once)



Sunday 28. Played and lost at Soccer, drove through the new tunnel at last,
Topic: Short Story Sunday: Pretend Friends.
Monday 29. My brothers birthday party at the pub and played the first bit of Shadow of Mordor.
Topic: My Long Weekend at PacWar.
Tuesday 30. Went to the library.
Topic: An Interview Tomorrow and a month done today. #blogjune

YouTube Clip of the Day.


Honest Trailers are usually brilliant, but this one is particularly great.

June 30th, 2015

My Weekend at Pacwar.


Wednesday.


Like all great weekends my weekend at Pacwar was five days long in theory. I was in Portland Oregon and I was staying with two friends of mine who were die hard fans of Amtgard, which is kind of like Larping except without the role playing element. Just the fighting. I'd been given the option of either going along with them for a weekend away in the woods camping with all their friends or staying at their place while they went away and maybe going into the city over the weekend to hang out by myself and see what I could see. So obviously I decided to go camping in the woods. Because I'm an outdoors kind of person.
So the weekend started on Wednesday when we went to get food and supplies for the camping, including block-out, chips, biscuits, some salami and meats and a few other things like that. Now something I never thought about but I discovered when I went shopping was that American super-markets are disgustingly huge. Easily double the size of the large shops we have in Australia, easy to get lost in and confusingly laid out. Also not helping was that I didn't know any of the brands so I was guessing as to the quality of the stuff I was buying based on the price and if I'd ever seen them on a TV show. I asked my friends about a few of them but they weren't always 100% on what was good and what wasn't.
The key thing I had to remember was to bring biscuits so I could put Vegemite on it and let people try it out, a form of biological warfare according to some people I later discovered.
Once the shopping was done with we went back home. The one thing I didn't realise at the time was that I didn't buy any beer or booze or anything. My friends don't drink and it didn't even occur to me for some reason to buy a few beers for the camping. I think in part because I figured that drinking and fighting with swords wouldn't be a great idea.

Thursday.

I spent the day on Thursday in the city for a bit, just looking around. I had a bus voucher which was valid for as many trips as I liked until two days after I was going to fly out of the country, so I was good with just puttering around.
My only rule was I had to be back in time to drive to pick up my friend from her job that afternoon. So I was back with time to spare and we drove off to find her work, in my defence everything was on the wrong side of the road, so the fact that we couldn't find the place was only partially my fault(we were using my phone as a guide). Turned out her work was off a road but still on that road, it was confusing but we got her, got psyched up and headed... I want to say west? onwards to the campgrounds.

The campsite was west of Salem which is south of Portland, so I was wrong previously, we headed boldly south and to the west towards the campgrounds. American freeways are weird as hell to drive on. When I travel I'm usually stuck in a city or taking a bus or preferably a train to get anywhere(or I just walk across the entire country on a whim), driving in a car felt kind of new. American freeways are really solidly built but I was lost before we even got out of the city, my sense of direction is rubbish.
We arrived at the campsite at a reasonable time, before sunset but in the late afternoon, paid our entry fee and registered. Everyone had to put in their character class, I was a bard, by the end of the weekend I'd be a ranger and I think for a while I was almost a wizard, and then we went down to the area for our kingdom, which is what different guilds and groups in the community are called. We were also issued with a wristband which was to be kept on all weekend. They were to show how old we were so that underaged people weren't drinking basically. I was thirty-one years old and Australian, so I'm more than allowed to drink.

PacWar, Pacific War, is when all the kingdoms in and around the area(the Pacific North West) get together and just fight each other, elect new monarchs(the heads of the organisation), knight new knights, show off what they've made over the last year since they were last together and have competitions like archery and jousting and costume/weapons crafting. There are a lot of rules around how things are meant to be done in the games and how things are meant to be made.

The kingdom I was in is called Blackspire, it was a bunch of my friends friends and one of them had a huge tent and was cool with me sleeping in it. I warned him that I tend to snore so if I started he was free to wake me up and kick me until I stop. I make it a habit to let people know that I snore, because I'd hate it if someone was snoring all night and I wanted to sleep. Dinner was actually eaten on the way to the camp, at Taco Bell so I wasn't that hungry when we arrived.

That afternoon there was a battle on the main field, which had a cool castle built out of canvas and I stood on the sidelines watching with some of the other non-fighters.


Rather violent considering that it is all foam weapons.

Afterwards I was introduced to everyone in the other Kingdoms by my friends and also went out and talked to a few people, the accent was popular with the crowd.

It turned out that there was a competition planned for that night, the campgrounds were divided by this huge hill, at the top was one set of kingdoms and at the bottom was the other. We were at the bottom, the top campsites had cabins available and more toilets and also phone/internet reception but the bottom campgrounds had the actual battlespaces and the meeting grounds so it was a toss up as to which was better. The competition was between the upper and lower camp and involved fighting and raiding for possession of a flag. If you had the others flag before midnight you'd win. I wasn't keen on fighting in the dark so I didn't join in. The XP rewards for a character win were apparently pretty decent(the RPG element of Amtgard, as close as I can gather, gave you upgrades to some abilities and armour capacity). The squeals and screams for the game were audible for a while as people tried to sneak through the woods in the darkness.

Before going to bed I ended up playing a game of Cards Against Humanity in the main hall with a huge group of people, my dry and dirty wit scored me a few winning hands, but I came in too late to have a chance at overall victory.
I slept quite comfortably on the floor of the tent.

Friday.

I'll start by saying that I've done a lot of crazy things while overseas, but dressing up like a Russian archer and trying to defend a castle from a horde of attacking barbarians is probably up there as the craziest.

The morning started with someone telling us about an archery competition which was being held around the corner from our campsite and slightly up a hill. The campgrounds we'd rented were, I think, a scouting camp so there was a lot of places around the grounds for things like archery contests. There was also a big hall building which had a flushing toilet and working taps so we weren't ever really living rough.

I signed myself up for archery despite not having a bow, not having any arrows and having no experience in archery at all. I was leant a bow, shown the basics(stringing the bow was a pain it was wooden and I was petrified that I was going to snap it when I bent it back to hook the string in) and sent off to see how I'd go.
I did not go well. I managed to get exactly one target from six shots, but considering it was my first time I was told I was pretty decent.


Not me but a pirate who had better aim than me.

After that there was a battle planned for midday and I was signed up to join in as an Archer/Ranger. I was given a sash to go around my waste so I could be identified by other players, then I was given a few arrows with foam heads on them so I couldn't hurt anyone(they are really weird, I got hit with a few of them and they don't hurt at all but you still feel them just tapping you) and sent to the line.
The way that the battles worked was that the two leaders would pick their fighters from the crowd one at a time, archers almost always went first because range is better than melee. I was picked very late in the piece considering I was an archer(and both of them knew I was fresh and had no idea what I was doing).


They trusted me. I had a hat!

The battle was pretty weird to watch for me, I couldn't tell one side from the other 90% of the time, I didn't know the rules about headshots(banned) and was not ready for the heat(they had some volunteers going around with cold water bottles). We were defending for the first round and attacking for the second. It was intense. I lost literally every fight I even came close to, missed every shot I took, and died well and above the maximum number of allowed deaths. But it was a lot of fun. I do wish I was able to roleplay a bit, build up a character and then go full Charisma and Wisdom to bring about the downfall of my enemies, but combat by the sword and arrow were my avenues and I took them to my death.

There was a bit of a break at this point for a bit so we could all recover from the heat and the battle. We had some lunch and I got people to try Vegemite on some cheese biscuits. To limited success. I made sure to put only a small amount and made sure that they knew it was salty as hell. Some people liked it, I loved it obviously, but the rest thought it was like chewing soy sauce.

After lunch was over there was Jousting, which I was again signed up for, I was really stupidly keen for everything that day. Jousting was like the fighting, foam weapons and shields, but you had someone dragging wheelbarrow behind them with the fighter in the barrow. I elected to be the runner and my friend was behind me in the barrow with a shield and a pike.


I'm visible at about 0:45 in my State Library of Queensland Volunteer shirt pulling a wheelbarrow backwards. You can hear some of my "friends" calling out "GO AMERICA!" in support of my opposition.

It doesn't look very fast in the video, but you really feel it when you're on foot sprinting with someone behind you trying to implement a grand strategy in the two second window you have when both fighters are within each others range.


Jugging, five on five fighting to the death in an attempt to put a dogs skull on top of a spike.

When that was done I was exhausted and thankfully the activities which I could join in were mostly done with(there were a few more things but I wasn't really in them because they were more geared towards the long termers and I was welcome to join but I would have just hindered things a lot). So I sat on the sidelines and watched this game called Jugging. Which was weirdly entertaining if not a bit tricky to follow(easier to follow than US Football) at which point I noticed that the money I had kept in my camera case was gone, which was a shame, it was $25 so no great loss but still. Nothing I was really willing to lose.

I returned to the campsite and discovered a few new people, it was Friday and not everyone could get time off from work so we had people trickling in all weekend basically, and then discovered that drinking was indeed allowed and that I had not bought anything with me. So everyone started shouting me a beer from their own supply.
The rest of the night is blurry but fun memories. Talking to people from all over the place, telling them about my travels and hearing their stories about their own. It was a really nice community feeling, and I was stumbling a little bit after a couple of hours.


I do not remember taking this photo. Also I am in the photo so I have no idea how I took it. Also I do remember taking photos with the flash enabled and blinding about six people.

By the end of the night I was barely functioning and someone helped me to get back to my tent, it was around 1:30am or so(my camera logged the time of the photo but the camera was on Atlanta time I think). Apparently the guy I was sharing a tent with, who was also called Andrew confusingly enough, was woken up when I came in and had this horrible image of me staying awake all night being awful, so he got up and went to get some water and when he came back he was ready to try and settle me down to get to sleep. Except in the two minutes he was gone I'd passed out in my sleeping bag and wasn't even snoring(because I was sleeping on my stomach).


My 1am guardian angel who walked me back to my tent. I couldn't see him in the dark so I had no idea who it was until I took this picture. I warned him about the flash.

Saturday.

So I woke up barely aware of reality at sometime past 11am, in fact I wrote a short story about it later(slightly exaggerating some details and also adding in some because the theme for that month was the confusion between the words raise, raze and rays which was fun to work with). I managed to crawl out of the tent and get to water. That was my main objective.
My non-drinking friends had wisely given me a wide berth the night before, I can be pretty awful when I'm really cutting loose. I promised myself I wouldn't drink again that evening.

I got water and then found my friends, they were hanging out near this food tent thing which had some actual cooked food and stir-fry stuff. I wanted to eat but my money was still gone. It was then that I realised that my camera was also gone. This was more worrying because I love that camera. I also noticed I had lost my torch. So I was kind of regretting drinking a lot at that point.

I first made sure I wasn't a complete jerk the night before to anyone, I've done the apology tour a few times over the years, it isn't fun but it isn't the worst thing to suffer through. Not apologising is worse.

It was while I was gearing up to ask for a loan of five-ten bucks that I found out that my friend had my money, she'd seen it in my camera case during my jousting battle and taken it because she was worried someone might steal it and I'd started drinking before she had a chance to tell me about it. So I had money to buy some food which was like manna from heaven except the meat was all gone so I got some salad I think and some softdrink, still worth it. I would have killed for a kebab the state I was in.

Then this other girl told me that this other guy had my camera, I'd dropped it when I took the photo of the guy who rescued me the night before and he found it on the road that morning and handed it in. Then, later still, another guy told me he found my torch but it was up in his tent which was up the hill so he told me he'd get it to me later because he wasn't keen on walking up and then back down again for no almost reason.

Saturday was the big day for fights, duels, battles and the election of a new monarch as well as the feast for the night which would involve meat and actual food instead of the dry and salty Vegemite tasting food I'd been eating up to then(and all the chocolate, I'd forgotten how much chocolate and Gatorade I bought).


One of the battles of the day, I think this was actually between the battles proper and was just people warming up.

I spent most of the afternoon hanging around the sidelines of the battles, meeting ever more new people(many of whom I'd apparently met the night before) and talking about stuff. It was really nice. I met a girl who wanted to walk the Camino in Spain, I showed her my pictures(still on my camera) and she seemed even more intent on walking it after hearing how much fun I had over there.


Election of the monarchs and their royal court.

That evening I was present at the Royal Court, which was where the outgoing head of the organisation leaves and is replaced with someone else. It was a great event, I didn't follow much of it, traditions and things can be weird to outsiders. There were awards for best crafting and people were promoted to knights and there was punching for some reason. I was still coming down from the night before. I was sitting with this lady who's husband was one of the newest knights she seemed pretty happy about it. I didn't use flash for my photos so the one above was about the only one that was actually usable from the event.

Once the court was done with I went looking for the guy who had my torch, I went up the hill and they said he was down the hill working in the kitchen, I went down the hill and the kitchen people didn't know who I was talking about(everyone has two names, their actual name and their Amtgard name, mine was Actorvious, this guy used his Amtgard name to me but everyone else knew him by his actual name, also I kept mispronouncing it which didn't help). There was this nice girl I met that weekend called Gypsy-Fox, I stupidly told her my less than PC opinion of Gypsy's after getting harassed by a few of them in Paris and we had a decent rapport going, I talked with her for a while waiting for this guy to materialise out of thin air. She lived in her car she told me. She liked the freedom of not being held down by property and stuff. The ideal of the nomadic life. We sat talking in the dark for a while before I left to go up the hill again looking for my torch, except this time I got to take a car(someone was driving between the camps for some reason). No joy.
Then back down again(I was offered a lift but I declined because I didn't want to miss the guy in the dark if we were driving). No joy.
Then back up again where I decided to wait because eventually this guy was going to come up and I knew, KNEW, that I wasn't going to give up. The torch was this thing I bought in Cusco, Peru, it had been around the world with me, I love that stupid thing and I wasn't willing to lose it if there was a chance to get it. So I stayed up the top of the hill and started talking to the people up there. There was this one huge extended family that formed most of a kingdom by themselves. There were a bunch of guys around a campfire listening to Metal music and trying out what I think was throat singing. I didn't know anyone up there but I started talking and it was nice. But also none of them seemed to know the guy I was looking for. I was actually beginning to think he didn't exist and I'd hallucinated him.

Eventually I gave up, I managed to get my phone working and checked my email and Facebook for stuff(nothing too dramatic had happened while I was in the wilderness it turns out). And then I went back down the hill for what I thought would be the last time.
At the bottom of the hill I found the guy who had my torch, he'd done a bit of a whip-round looking for me and when he couldn't find me he'd decided to walk back to his tent and was just starting out then.
So I walked back up the hill. For the third and final time. To get a torch that cost me about $5 but had sentimental value. Totally worth it.
By the time I got back to my campsite people were drinking a bit and I joined in, not on the level from the night before thank god, I know I promised not to drink that night, but I did help finish up a few bottles of stuff, just so it didn't go to waste.


Taken the next morning, all of these and the Vegemite were in my stomach/liver by the end of the night before.

Sunday.


Sunday was a better morning than Saturday, I woke up alive and felt great, the dinner the night before was behind me and I'd really got used to the people and atmosphere of the camp. Sadly it was the last day and we were dismantling tents, taking down tables and saying our goodbyes.
I had a great time that weekend, meeting people, fighting people, drinking with people. I made fast friends with them in the brief time we'd had. I left behind a lot of really nice people many of whom I'm now friends with on Facebook and stay in contact with.
As we drove away I felt bad about not fighting more, about not doing as much as I could. I kind of wished I'd helped out a bit with the volunteers but overall I felt bad that it was over. We drove away to this place nearby in Salem to get Chinese food for lunch with some of the people we'd been out with. We talked about our highlights of the weekend, I found the archery the most fun and was told that my friend had overheard two people saying that I was the highlight of their weekend, she was pretty happy for me at that.
We went our separate ways eventually, the long drive back to Portland was nice, we stoppEd on the way home for frozen Yoghurt at this place where they weigh the cup and charge you accordingly. It's a strange country America.

In my time in the United States I found two incredibly nerdy events, PacWar and DragonCon and I'd absolutely loved every minute of them. I had no expectations going into either event, I just trusted that I'd be able to fit in and that people would be nice and fun to hang out with. I was right on both counts.

My Day.


My day was pretty boring compared to what I just wrote about. It took me almost five hours to write all of that. It was my brothers birthday today so at dinner we had a cake and sung happy birthday. Tomorrow I'm taking him to the Shops and we're going to get him some shirts, some socks, some singlets and basically replace all the things he's destroyed over the last few months with his OCD.
Before all of that I finally finished downloading Shadow of Mordor which was fun to play, it felt a lot like the Batman games, which is a good thing, but actually works on a PC, which is a great thing. I spent most of the afternoon working on that game and trying to back-up Far Cry 4 onto my laptop so I could test to see if it works on it so I can LAN play it with my mate. Sadly the 30gb took too long to backup and I couldn't finish the file transfers in time before I had to leave for my brothers house.

Not really much else to report on, I did the shopping, got cake. I dropped my dad off at the Rental Car place because his truck is in the shop and he is worried that the weather for the week is predicted to be too wet to safely drive his motorbike around.
Other than that a pretty quiet day.

YouTube Clip of the Day.


Every Guy Richie movie for a very long time was basically this.

June 29th, 2015

Pretend Friends.


"Does it hurt?"
"Of course it doesn't sir. We place the implant through the optic nerve while she's sedated and then it works its way into the brain and a lot of complicated things happen that I could explain but they go over my head and I'm sure they'd go over yours as well. We used to have to put one in the ear as well, both ears actually, but those days are thankfully long over."
The girls father looked at the salesman with some concern. It was a natural feeling for a parent.
"But it's safe?"
"Of course it is sir. We've never had a single person die or fall sick as a result of the procedure. We've obviously had clients die, I won't deny it. But independent inquests and examinations have found that none of them were the result of our product. We have the documentation available if you like. We're very proud of our safety record."
"I wasn't talking about physical stuff, I'm not stupid, I read up on all that before I came out here today. I was talking about her personality, her emotions, her soul. My Valerie, she's my world, I only want what is best for her. This implant is the best?"
"Of course it is sir. And it is completely safe."
"And free?"
"Of course sir, what type of people would we be if we made you pay for such a service?" The salesman flashed a trustworthy smile. "We're selling imaginary friends here, what kind of price can you put on an imagination?"
"I just don't understand, how can it be free?"
"Well the technology is already as near perfected as we can make it. So that's done, no R&D costs. We spend almost nothing on advertising. So savings right there. And we make up the cost of the unit and of course wages, mine and the other staff here, in product placement."
"Product placement? I don't remember reading about that."
"Well it's nothing to worry about. The implant will just suggest to your little Val that maybe some products are better than others. Little things, she won't even notice it after a while. By the time she's old enough to buy things they won't even be a memory of a memory."
"And that covers the cost of all this?"
"Yes. Of course it does."
"I'm still not sure that this is the best idea for her. She seems okay without it."
"Sir, your daughter is only two years old right now. Soon she'll be three and will be growing up in a very competitive world. Our implant will give her the best chance going forwards. The imaginary friend will be a guide to help her learn to read, count, understand the world she lives in. Better than any teacher or parent ever could. Her friend will teach her how to trust and respect authority and what to do in emergencies. In fact it is designed to detect emergencies like a fire and direct her to safety. We're talking about giving your daughter the best possible chance at getting ahead. By the time she's six she'll be adept in most forms of math, able to read fluently and probably able to understand and program her own software."
"Yes, I know all this, but I'm worried about the product placement you were talking about earlier. Isn't it open for abuse? I mean what companies are advertising in my girls eyes?"
"Sir, I assure you that all of our product partners have your daughter and your family's best interests at heart. And as I mentioned before it is unlikely that any of it will stick with her. Of course, don't tell our valued product partners that, they pay for most of this after all."
"Okay, what about politics and religion? Does your the imaginary friend have anything on the topic of government and faith?"
"We... try to avoid such areas wherever possible sir. For the very reasons you're worried about. Our product has a lot of potential to influence young developing minds and we don't want there to be any doubt about our intentions. Rest assured that the imaginary friend will only help little Valerie to learn essentials and nothing more or less."
"What happens when she grows up?"
"Excuse me?"
"Well your product simulates an imaginary friend for her, eventually she'll be old enough to realise that it isn't real and won't that cause some problems?"
"Heavens no sir. The implant is bio-organic. As time goes on it starts to break down naturally, the imaginary friend appears less and less as she grows up and it falls apart until one day it is simply gone. By the time she's seven it will be completely gone and your daughter will be just like every other child. Healthy, normal and smart as a whip."
"So her friend just vanishes?"
"Don't all imaginary friends do that over time sir? Just fade into a vague childhood memory? This is just like that."
"I don't really remember. I didn't have any imaginary friends growing up. I didn't have any product placement in my brain telling me to buy things. Back then you had to make your own friends, real friends. You had to go outside to have fun. Not like the kids these days. All alone. I had a best friend growing up, his name was Tim, he lived in the neighbourhood, we went everywhere together until school started and I think he had to move away. I'm afraid that my daughter won't have any kind of a real experience. Just this pre-packaged stuff."
"Sir, the implant has over seven hundred thousand possible scenarios fitted with randomising features and an algorithm to adjust to her preferences. Valerie will experience a truly unique friendship and no-one anywhere will have anything identical to hers."
"I'm hesitant to do this."
"I can tell sir."
"I mean I never had one of these things as a kid."
"Actually sir, according to our records you did. Your parents installed a series three unit at age two."
"No they didn't."
"I'm sorry, our records are very thorough, also there is the reason you're here today."
"Excuse me?"
"We don't advertise Mr Plumb. We never advertise. We just wait for people like you to show up. Didn't you wonder why you came in?"
"I don't understand, I thought I saw something on the news about you guys. I thought I saw... what did I see? I just knew."
"You didn't see anything sir. It's just product placement doing its work. Now sign the contract."

The End.

My Day.


I woke up this morning early and drove away to play soccer going via the new tunnel which was interesting to drive through. We only had eleven people show up so I had to play the entire 90 minute game, I'm not going to lie I'm not that fit so I was rubbish out on the field today. We lost pretty badly and I went home feeling awful.

Spent most of the afternoon looking after my brother and then wrote the short story up above. Not entirely sure what I can do with it. It needs a hell of a lot of work. As a first draft it is okay, I think I need to make sure that the salesman is revealed to be called Tim but have the story say that he calls himself that today. Also maybe have him talk about the ways that the imaginary friend program works. It's a creative process and it takes time to get it right.

YouTube Clip of the Day.


Doctor Who commercial for a kids TV channel in the USA. I hope they all accidentally watch Blink and never sleep a comfortable night ever again.

June 27th, 2015

My Day.


I really have no excuse for not writing anything today except for the fact that I'm sleepy as hell and have to get up in the morning and play soccer.
I got up this morning and sorted out my brother who managed to sleep in somehow while I woke up at 6:30 exactly even without my alarm turned on. I made him bacon instead of sausages with his breakfast and he didn't like it at first but I basically told him to eat it and he finished the plate after a couple of minutes. Hank, his Saturday carer, showed up on time and relieved me of my duty, which was nice. I then came home expecting to be able to play Shadow of Mordor a game I bought on the Steam Sale and found it was only about a quarter downloaded since I left it the night before. 42gB takes a hell of a long time to actually download. I'm now at 68% done and should be, in theory, done by tomorrow afternoon. Which would be lovely because I've heard great things about this game and I want to give it a shot.

I spent the afternoon trying to work out how far into Far Cry 4 I was willing to go before the co-op game was allowed(the end of Act 1) because I still want to play it with my mate but don't want to rush ahead if I can help it. From just running and exploring the very small starting area I've managed to level up a little bit and get my character stats high and equipment is maxed out for the area limitations(to make your equipment better you need to kill and skin animals and use their hides to upgrade stuff, the starting area only has six different animals in it so you can only upgrade a couple of things with those skins). I have some decent guns and should be formidable come the revolution.

At around 4 this afternoon I went to the shops and got some food for dinner only to find my dad had already got food for dinner for once and I needn't have bothered. So dinner was spaghetti bolognese and a caeser salad followed by a mandarin for dessert.
Something I realised when I got to the shops, which I hadn't really noticed all day, the pain in my knee is completely gone right now. I'm not in pain for the first time in months. It feels great just to feel normal for a change.
And now I'm going to sleep.

YouTube Clip of the Day.


When someone gives you a flag you can't trust them.

Managing Volunteers.


Managing a schedule for a team is a pain, I used to have to manage my team while I was working at Woolworths, I didn't make the schedules but I had to adjust them all the time because of people calling in sick or unavailable and it was a struggle. The only carrot I could offer people was the extra money they'd earn if they covered for someone else's shift which was usually enough to get them in. That and the fact that if we had more people working it is less work to do each overall. I would guilt and cajole those guys into showing up with everything I could think of but the key was the money. The money made it happen.

With Volunteers you can't offer money if someone is sick or ill or can't make it. You have to basically ask politely and hope someone can make it. This makes it difficult to account for breakdowns in the system. The only solution to this is to have a lot of volunteers or to put volunteers in positions where them not being there won't cause any loss of service to the regular patrons/clients. Thus my work as a exhibit guide isn't essential as nearly anyone working at SLQ could do it if necessary and my survey work isn't essential at all for day to day operations(it is important for long term things like service budgets, marketing and the like(the bulk of the survey I conduct seems to be tailored to working out what kind of person goes to the library and from that we could extrapolate better marketing campaigns to get their attention)).

This has two consequences: One, volunteers can sometimes feel non-essential to the overall mission of the institution or library as what they can do, while valuable and appreciated, can start to feel pointless in a way. I felt that a bit towards the end of the Cusp exhibition when there were a few shifts with almost no visitors and it started to feel like a waste of time cycling out to just end up standing around doing nothing for two hours.
Two, volunteers can end up not getting much in the way of professional development or skills because their role is so limited and they drop out. I feel that all my volunteer positions have actually provided me with a lot of skills but once developed it is good to have avenues to improve this. The State Library is great at this offering volunteers a chance to do more, like the tour guide work I do, the digitisation programs and others like it.

I don't envy the people who have to manage volunteers. You have people who are volunteering their time for no money and you have to make sure that they are feeling satisfied and fulfilled as well as providing them with stuff to do and to help them develop skills and engage with the public.

My Day.


Yesterday I had to do a phone interview as a pre-interview for an actual interview which was fun. I've spent the subsequent day going over in my head everything I said and trying to work out if I accidentally said something like "Also Stalin was an inspiration for my management techniques." thankfully, as near as I can tell, I didn't.

This morning was the first morning all week that I could sleep in, so I didn't wake up until 7:30. Oh lord that extra hour was just great, it still meant that went I woke up I had nothing to do so I played a little bit of the game FarCry 4 until I got out of the tutorial section. I'm still hoping to play it through with my mate doing the entire game in Co-op but that will likely have to wait a few weeks because he's going up north for the school holidays. After that I remembered that I had to apply for a job at the State Library which I was told about because I'm a volunteer(it is some internal position or something I don't really follow the logistics of HR but I care enough to apply for jobs through them). I had to write 600 words max about why I think I'm good for the position. Really annoying because I don't like talking myself up very much. As grandiose as I am in person I'm pretty humble on the page when it comes to Resumes and job applications. So talking myself up for six hundred words was a struggle. In the middle of all of this I got a knock at the door and had to sign for my lanyards for the Story Bridge 75 afternoon session. I have four right now, one is reserved for a friend of mine and the other two are mostly up for grabs, a friend of mine around the corner wants to go so I might give them to him and his girlfriend.

I got out of the house at around midday to drive over to Browns Plains to get lunch with my mate and on the way there I saw a lady with her car pulled over standing in the middle of the road, turns out there was a giant carpet snake just sitting there and she was worried that someone would kill it driving over it. I grabbed my golf club from the boot(I keep it there for Cane Toad Golf days) and nudged it off the road while the lady from the car had a near conniption when the snake started to move briefly towards us before amping up and away into the bush.

I was thus five minutes late for lunch with my mate. We had Hungry Jacks because he was in a hurry today as there was some group coming into his work to do a OHS tour or something. So we ate and I told him what I thought about the new Jurassic Park movie and some of the quibbles I had about the plot holes here and there. Then afterwards I went back with him to his work and finished up my catalogue work of the last couple of months. The professional development library is now complete, with full documentation, a CDP, a full training manual and a catalogue available on the network for everyone to use if they need it.

Sadly the password to use the account I have is really awkward and hard to type so when I went to print my documents it didn't work and I ended up locking myself completely out of the system which was annoying and after I managed to do some file transfer trickery via USB's and network drives to get it printed through my mates account I left because I couldn't do much more after that.
I ended up going to Mount Ommaney shopping town to hit up the bank for some cash, buy some Lego for my nieces and to check on Electronic Boutique about what I can do about my pre-order for Batman now that Warner Brothers have taken it off the market. Turns out they might be cool with it for the moment. I was tempted to go to the Legacy Tunnel and drive through it but decided not to because getting back to the freeway without taking the tunnel afterwards would be a pain and I didn't want to waste money on it by going through twice.

Once I was done at the shops I went over to my dad's house and made some dinner, Chicken with chips and some pasta salad from Woolies, then went over to my brothers place for the night. Ended up trying to watch The Lord of the Rings:The Two Towers and started to fall asleep just after the banishment of Grima Wormtongue.

YouTube Clip of the Day.


Peter Capaldi talks about surrealist Art while dressed up as The Doctor.

June 26th, 2015

How Many Pages for a Resume?


My current resume is two pages long, my last resume was seven. There were some serious edits done at one point. I liked having a lot of information on my resume, in part because I like writing a lot and in part because I felt like leaving anything out would be a mistake. However I was told that brief is better when it comes to resumes because most job openings tend to get hundreds of applications for them and the staff in charge of looking at the pile of resumes only have a few minutes at most with each of them. Seven pages is impossible to read even if it is a job I'm really well qualified for and all my documentation backs this up.

I really really hate applying for jobs, it is a soul killing process. And the worst thing is that when you get a rejection the paranoia kicks in a bit and you try to work out exactly what it is you did wrong and then try to correct for it, but without actual feedback you can end up "improving" something which was perfect already until it is now broken.
It doesn't help that every HR department is different and sometimes seem to want very different things for very similar positions.

So I'm sticking to a two page format for now, short and sweet, doesn't require anything else from me and HR can read it and weep at the majesty I have created.

My Day.


A pretty uneventful day, except for when it was eventful. I did a quick phone interview with the lady from the Gold Coast college about a job. I went into SLQ and did my shift. I got my comic books and then went and saw Jurassic World before there was a fire under Queen Street mall in the bus stop so I had to catch a train home instead of a bus like I wanted to.
Ended up falling asleep as soon as I got home so I didn't write this until Friday morning.

YouTube Clip of the Day.


Legends of Tomorrow might actually be awesome or terrible. I'm really hoping it is great because I love the concept.

June 25th, 2015

Finding time to write.


I love writing, it is something I've been doing for as long as I can remember. Stories and characters, journals and blogs. I've a fondness for the written word that eclipses nearly ever other hobby I've ever had. But finding time to actually write anything is a pain. For example the last two days I've planned on writing my blog entries before I went to bed and on both occasions I've ended up going to sleep instead because I literally couldn't keep my eyes open to type anything.
Writing is a painful process sometimes, you have to actually write down something in your head that is a great idea but might sound corny or stupid when expressed in black and white.

I try to set aside at least a few hours a month to writing a short story for my writing group, a result of this is that the last two years have been the most productive two years of writing I've done since high school. I've written a few dozen short stories.
I like to set aside some time but I really want to write a lot more than I currently am. I'd like to set aside a few hours a day if I could but I don't think that is entirely feasible given my current schedule of work and sleep.

When I'm travelling I'm always writing in my journal, but I'm also always trying to play catch-up in my journal. I end up a few days behind and suddenly I've forgotten something here and missed out on something there and my journal entry becomes a boring little thing instead of an exploration of what I was doing and what I was feeling when I was somewhere interesting. The problem is that when I'm travelling there are dull days, days where I woke up at midday, went to get breakfast, sat around on Facebook all afternoon, drank my dinner at a pub, stumbled home and fell asleep before 1am without having done much of anything, coming up with two pages of my journal to describe that is a stretch. When I was walking in Spain I took the first page to think about my life, my future, where I was going and how I was feeling and then used the second page to describe my day. With the distances covered and the energy put out there was a lot to talk about, but when I'm in a place like Portland, Paris or LA and just cruising around the place having a laugh about there isn't as much to write about philosophically.

I think I should maybe start just cutting off my Saturday activities and making that my writing time, ride my bike to a library somewhere, no phone or internet, and then write for a few hours before riding home again. It's a nice thought, something to try for in the future maybe.

My Day.


I got a phone call from the College of Natural Medicine today, the librarian there left me a message saying that they wanted to talk to me about a job application I put in for a position in their library on the Gold Coast a few weeks back. Sadly I didn't answer the phone because I was trying to avoid the people at Electronic Boutique because I pre-ordered the new Batman game and reviews for the PC version are awful right now so I'm avoiding them until the game is either patched or un-broken because I'm not getting into another case of Alien Vs Predator where I'm stuck with an unplayable game on my Steam List waiting for my computer to get good enough to handle the software bugs via hardware.

Such a shame because I really was looking forwards to being Batman again.

Anyway I called back the lady from the college and left a message so I'll probably call again tomorrow and see what I can do about getting an interview or lining up a job. In related news there are two jobs going at the State Library and a position going at Australian Catholic University(which I'm qualified for on the basis that I'm super-Catholic and have a degree in Library Science).

After work I went home, got a change of clothes and then went over to my brothers house to look after him for the night. I was watching some junk TV show when there was a power-outage which was a worry because it meant that I couldn't make dinner. So I told my brother that if the power was still out at 5:45 then we'd go to my dads house and I'd cook there, get him in the bath and maybe we'd sleep there instead of at his place. I lit a bunch of candles around the house so my brother could find his way around in the Gloom.
At 5:44 the power came back on. Very well timed Energex.

Dinner was the cheap fish from Woolies and it wasn't very tasty, which is what happens when you buy fish based on the price alone. I made a stir-fry and some rice to go with it which went down a lot easier.

After dinner I put my brother to bed and then fell asleep myself at about 9pm but not before I made sure that the candle supply around the house was solid.

YouTube Clip of the Day.


I've had this stupid song stuck in my head for the last week. This show was from the same creator behind Hannibal.

June 24th, 2015

I watch a lot of TV, as a result I've seen a lot of shows which don't really get a lot of publicity outside of niche corners of the internet. Below is my list of shows which I think are actually really good and worth looking at if you are bored or looking for a way to kill a weekend.
A few of these shows aren't finished yet so the quality could take a massive nosedive out of no-where in the next few weeks.

Drama.

iZombie. A girl becomes a zombie after a huge party turns into a zombie outbreak, six months later she's working as a Medical Examiner so she can access the brains she needs to eat to survive without having to kill anyone. Only issue is that she gets the memories of the brains she eats as well as some of the personality quirks of the victim. She uses these memories to help solve their murders with the police while searching for a cure and looking for more people like her.
UnREAL. Behind the scenes on a reality TV show like the Bachelor, the main character is a line producer whose job it is to basically get the women in the show fighting each other for drama and manipulating them into sticking to the script set out by her bosses. It is awful watching how she pushes buttons and almost automatically knows how to get people to react the exact right way for the cameras.
Wayward Pines. A Federal Marshal wakes up in a strange town where everyone has secrets, no-one will answer his questions directly and nothing quite adds up. Really liked that this show revealed the big mystery in episode five so now with only five more episodes left they can concentrate on dealing with the situation instead of teasing out answers over and over again.
Motive. A Canadian cop show, the opening scene in every episode shows you who the killer is, who the victim is and then goes directly to the police finding the body. From there on you watch the cops tighten the net around the killer while seeing flashbacks of the killer and victim to explain why they did what they did. Usually pretty tight scripts and storylines, decent guest stars as the killers and victims and a solid cast.
Chasing Life. A young reporter gets cancer just as her career is starting to take off and her life gets on track and has to change her plans and how she sees her future. It's a small drama show based around family and relationships but it is great at times having small drama's over melodrama.
Jane the Virgin. On the subject of melodrama Jane the Virgin takes an already ridiculous concept(the main character Jane, is accidentally artificially inseminated during a gynaecological exam and despite being a virgin is now pregnant) and then cranks it up to 11 with her missing father(a star of a telenovella(Spanish Language soap operas known for melodrama)) showing up suddenly, her boyfriend having to investigate the family of the father of her baby, his sisters secret affair with their fathers new wife, his wife scheming to stop their divorce, her ties to Czech mobsters and their ties to the mysterious Sin Rosetro a faceless crimelord with an interest in the hotel that Jane works at. The storyline and plots spin out of control almost from the start and yet they're grounded by the family story of Jane trying to make sense of what her new life is going to be like now. Also the show is funny as hell thanks to the tireless work of the narrator who is more or less a character of his own at this point.
The Island with Bear Grylls(UK version Season two). This is a reality TV show, but it is the only one I have so I put it in Drama because it is a dramatic show. The premise is twenty guys and twenty girls are dumped on separate islands in the Pacific off the coast of Panama and have to survive for six weeks with only a few knifes, some fishing hooks and a jerry can full of water(plus a radio to call for help, a basic first aid kit and dozens of cameras and batteries because they do all their own filming). Watching these people slowly starve to death, search desperately for water, killing wildlife for food and then start to actually thrive after a few weeks, it is an amazing show.

Comedy.

Man Seeking Woman. A surrealist comedy about the difficulties and struggles of dating in the modern age. This show takes a simple concept, like meeting your ex-girlfriends new boyfriend whom everyone likes being a horrible experience, and makes it even more awkward by having her new boyfriend be a 126 year old Adolf Hitler whom everyone gets along with and no-one seems to think is actually a bad guy, or getting a girls phone number on a train feeling great and then getting a phone call from the President congratulating you on a job well done. The show takes simple events and extrapolates the emotions to reflect how great or terrible they can really feel.
Bluestone 42. A British army unit in Afghanistan have a lot of time to spare and spend most of it mucking around, playing pranks, bantering and just generally having a laugh. Not exactly a modern M*A*S*H because it doesn't deal with the struggles of wartime as much as the latter show did, but it's still funny as hell and has the occasionally brilliant comedy-action sequence in an episode out of no-where.
The Last Man on Earth. Phil has a problem, the entire population of the world died and now he's all alone. The first episode of this show is stunning, after that it gets into a comfortable groove but the first episode alone where he spend it just barely holding on to his sanity while all alone for four years needs to be seen by as many people as humanly possible.
Silicon Valley. A nerdy guy accidentally invents a new compression algorithm which almost instantly doubles the amount of data you can store in a device and now has to actually find a way to market it and starts a company with three of his friends to go up against the big-boys and deals with the insane insular nerd culture of Silicon Valley.
Fresh off the Boat. Set in the 1990s this show is about a family from Washington DC moving to Orlando where they're the only Asian family in their neighbourhood. It is based on the childhood of a chef call Eddie Huang who narrates the show as well. The show focuses on the universal story of being an outsider and laughs a lot at the world of Florida in the 90s.
Married. This show is cynical and brilliant. A couple with some kids basically just carry on with their lives day to day and deal with the little things to do with having kids, getting by and trying to enjoy life with the struggles of having a family.
You're the Worst. Two awful people meet at a wedding when he's kicked out for insulting the bride(his ex-girlfriend) and she leaves after stealing a blender from the gift table. They hook up, start seeing each other and fall in love while dealing with their best friends(hers is an unhappy wife who wants excitement, his is a war veteran with PTSD) and just generally trying not to sell out.

Sci-Fi.

Orphan Black. Orphan Black is a seriously brilliant show about a group of adult clones who discover that they're part of a global experiment and have various global interests after them for research and other reasons. With one actress, Tatiana Maslany, playing all of the clones this show is not only a brilliantly written piece it is also a technical feat having her interact with herself and others almost seemlessly.
12 Monkeys. Time Travel and Plagues go together so perfectly well it isn't funny. This show is a remake of the Terry Gillam movie from the 90s but it has a ton of things going on that the movie didn't. With time travel you can really go nuts and do things you can't even begin to try in other shows and this show does it. Characters are all over the place up and down the timeline, the world of the future is a bleak desolate mess where survival is almost impossible and no-one trusts anyone. Every part of this show has been made with care.
Killjoys. Only one episode down right now but I'm already liking this show, it's spaceships and bounty hunters. The setting is really well realised and the characters have a lot of places they can go.
Dark Matter. Two episodes in and I really like this show as well, a crew of six wake up with no memories on a spaceship and have to try and work out who they are and what they're doing. Themes about duty, destiny and identity are pretty strong in this show so far.
Continuum. Another show from Canada, the home of Sci-Fi, this show is about a cop from the hyper-capitalist future who is sent back in time by accident when some terrorists try to escape their execution with time travel. She arrives back in 2013 and has to try and stop them from basically making the world a better place.
Person of Interest. This show is a really solid action show with a philosophical bent that most people miss on first inspection. There is a secret machine which monitors all communication and data in the USA for terrorist threats, it sees all possible crimes but the government only wants to stop terrorism so they ignore the rest. The machine thus gives out a social security number of a person who is either going to murder someone or get murdered to an outsider without the government knowing about it. The main character is a former Special Ops agent who works with the man who built the machine and doesn't want anyone to die. They operate in New York city and deal with the concepts of a surveillance state, personal liberties and the ethics of profiling and preventative policing. Also the action in this show is top-notch.

Action.

The Librarians. An adventure show in the spirit of Indiana Jones three librarians and a former Nato agent are all that stands between the world and magical chaos, they go out and fight the monsters and battle the unknown. A fun show dealing with magic and adventure. Also Librarians, so you know I'm going to enjoy it.
Thunderbirds Are Go. A CGI remake of the classic Thunderbirds show except that a lot of the settings are actually models made by Weta(Lord of the Rings, the Hobbit), the characters are all CGI and the show is really great at showing an action series where punching or shooting isn't the only way to resolve conflicts and tension. Of particular interest was a recent episode with Rhys Darby(Flight of the Conchords) getting rescued. The show actually uses Thunderbird 5 a lot more than the original as well. I loved the original and this is a fitting follow up to the spirit of International Rescue.
Banshee. Violence, nudity, drugs, adult themes, sex scenes. This plot of this show reads like the warning before a movie on SBS. And yet it is also a really funny, fun action series with over the top characters, crazy plots and schemes and a writing team willing to basically throw everything at the wall because they can't believe they're still on the air and don't want to miss out on any opportunities to do violence.

My Day.


I'm writing this on Wednesday morning because I ended up going to sleep at an almost reasonable hour of the night last night(10pm) and woke up at 5am because my body doesn't accept that it can sleep more than seven hours at a time.

I got up early and made my brother, who also go up early, breakfast and then watched some TV. Apparently last night's Q&A was controversial, kind of regret not watching it now. After my brother left for work I made pumpkin soup and put it in the slow cooker for dinner, then I went around the corner to get a kebab for breakfast before going into work.

I went in to work at school and spent most of the day sorting through old cables and trying to untangle them, sort them out and group them all together. Took a few hours because I kept having to move out of the area I was working in because students kept showing up and needing them. Ended up getting rid of two whole boxes of mixed up cables and having everything sorted by type before leaving to go home.

When I got home I discovered, to my horror, that I'd forgotten to actually unpause the download I thought I set up on my computer to install Far Cry 4 so I had to resume that and as of right now have still not actually played the game. My mate who I'm planning on playing it co-op with from the start to the end, is going away for the next few weeks, so there isn't any rush right now, but I'd like to actually play it sooner rather than later.
The longer it takes to get around to it the longer I have to get my Laptop actually up and working properly to play it. As I was contemplating this most ponderous of thoughts I got a text from Electronic Boutique telling me that the new Batman game is going to be released tomorrow(Wednesday) and that I could show up at Midnight and get my copy if I wanted to. I did not want to.

After all the gaming mess I found myself in was resolved by ignoring it I went over to my brothers house, put him in my car and drove down to the shops to get some cream, spinach, laundry powder and some fish for tomorrow night's dinner. When we got back I got us our dinner, Pumpkin soup with some cream in it. Was pretty decent.

After that I put my brother to bed and then watched Good Game where they geeked out over how great Batman Arkham Knight is and then watched The Checkout where they talked about how overpriced childrens specialty birthday party services are and about how telemarketers are rubbish, then I literally passed out for a bit before going to sleep.

YouTube Clip of the Day.


I wish I could stack books from my house.

June 22nd, 2015

Painkillers.


Can't really write much tonight, I took some painkillers this morning and because I was lazy instead of finding some panadol or something I took some of the painkillers I have left over from my surgery a few months ago. Turns out I'm actually really really intolerant to painkillers and have spent the entire day with the world floating around my head too afraid to actually leave the house because I figured if I was having trouble standing upright I would probably fair poorly behind a steering wheel.

This Week.


  • Monday: Painkillers and the consequences of taking them.
  • Tuesday: 4 Shows you should be watching.
  • Wednesday: Finding time to write.
  • Thursday: My Resume and how many pages it should be.
  • Friday: Managing Volunteers.
  • Saturday: The Very Quiet Young Girls Guide to Dealing with Multiple Personalities.
  • Sunday: Short Story Sunday.


My Day.


I got up at about 5am because I went to bed so early and because my leg hurts and every time I roll in bed I wake up from the pain until I couldn't go back to sleep.
So I got up, played some games on my computer and then eventually my brother woke up and I made him breakfast before taking two codeine tablets for the pain.

This was a mistake because I don't usually take painkillers of any kind so two pills meant to relieve pain after surgery really really kicked my teeth in. At around 11am I got a text from a mate of mine telling me that Far Cry 4 was on sale on Steam and that we should buy it because we both really enjoyed Far Cry 3, and I did. And I also bought Shadow of Mordor, some FPS game I can't even remember the name of(Shadow Warrior, I checked), Alien: Isolation and the first two Witcher Games. I spent almost $130 on games I'm not going to play before the end of next month let alone this month and I still am on track to buy the new Batman game on Thursday. So I think I've just paid for at least 150 hours of gaming none of which I have time for right now.

After that I made some lunch and slowly came down from the clouds but was still woozy up until around 3pm when I drove over to my brothers house and looked after him. We went out and got some steaks for dinner with our dad and afterwards I came home and got to watch the first Matt Smith episode of Doctor Who(The Eleventh Hour) which was as brilliant now as it was back then watching it for the first time.

Now I'm going to sleep because while the pills have run their course I'm still barely functioning due to a lack of sleep and I need to be up early in the morning.

YouTube Clip of the Day.


Really looking forwards to watching this show when it comes out.

June 21st, 2015

Just a heads up, the main character of this story is pretty crude at the best of times, he's a main character in one of the novels I'm trying to write. He's a pretty awful character as a person, he pretty much hates everyone, is racist, sexist, homophobic and a corrupt cop. It's fun to write a character so appalling and this version doesn't have any swearing in it but it's still a bit crude. For those wondering: The boyfriend did it.
Next week's story has the following opening line: "If you count time travelling assassins then our wedding was attended by over 200 people." Now on with this weeks story.


A Broken Cadillac on a Mountainside.


“I wish Jerry was here.”
“He isn't and you know just as well, if not better, as anyone else why he’s not here.”
“I'd feel more comfortable with him working in the field, I need my partner.”
“That might be the case but it isn't going to be the case here. Not after what happened.”
“I still don't get why you think something happened. He wasn't even there, I was the arresting officer.”
“Yeah Charlie I know all about people not even being there when it comes to arresting officers. I myself have not been in a lot of places over the years during certain events and Jerry had the look of someone who wasn't there a hell of a lot more than someone who wasn't actually there.”
“I'm giving you my word on this. As I arrested them he was miles away.”
“And when they fell over and lost their teeth? And then fell over again a few times as the car accidentally rolled over their fingers?”
“He was even further away when those tragic accidents happened. He was at Rosies place getting a drink by then. Ask her about it. She’ll back me up and she hates me so you know she wouldn’t lie.”
“I will ask her, but I know she has a soft spot for Jerry, so don’t think I’ll take the word of your bartending half-Irish cousin. I know something happened. I don't care enough to find out but I do care enough to stick him on desk duties until we can get his head back in the game. He's one of the best we have and I can't afford to lose him to whatever puddle of sin you’ve walked into his house. But at the same time I can't afford to have him out with the public either if he's not up for it, he might hurt someone, he might do something stupid and I can’t afford stupid right now. My final bloody word on the topic Charlie. Do you understand?”
“Yes Cake.” There was a glare from the senior officer. “Yes sir.”

They were walking into the deeper parts of the scrub as they talked. A ranger in the carpark had pointed the way for them and they could see up ahead the obvious signs of a crime scene. Tape around trees, people with cameras trying to make sure nothing was undocumented.
“So why are we here anyway Cake? The two of us?”
“Because the locals haven't had a murder in ten years and it's better that you help out with it and catch the guy than they get practice in not catching a killer. “
“I know that, my question was a plural, why are we here, or more specifically why are you here? I'm not saying I didn't appreciate someone to talk to on the drive out here but they can't possibly need you as well as me. You don’t really have the skill set to investigate a murder anymore.”
“I’ll not take offense at that. The locals don't need me at all, I have a cousin back in town who just had a baby so I need to go in and say hello. This way I get paid for fuel by her majesty's police service instead of fronting it up myself.”
“Then why even come out here to the crime scene if you don't care?”
“Because someone needs to make sure you play nice with the locals. You have a reputation Charlie, I’m here to make sure that you don’t do anything stupid for a second time in a week.”

The local police had the scene sealed off pretty well, the two showed their badges and stepped carefully into the area. The local detective, Chris Mannel, was more used to dealing with drug raids, illegal grow operations and drunk bashings near and around the local bar, a body just off the bushwalking track was new and he’d been quickly on the phone to Brisbane to get someone with more experience to assist for the initial investigation at least.
Instead of sending their best they sent James “Charlie” Charlotte a man with more experience than he knew what to do with and the arrogance which came from being right enough of the time to think that you’re going to be right all of the time. His boss and driving companion was simply called The Cake-Lover by everyone in the department, he’d had the nickname for so long that occasionally people forgot that he had an actual real name hidden under it. The origins of his nickname were confusing to him, he thought it was because he once woke up naked in a bathroom after a Christmas party with most of what he thought was a melted birthday cake somehow covering his body and he had to run to get clothes from a bedroom before anyone woke up, the truth was that his wife used to jump out of cakes at bucks parties for a living and he still had no idea, Charlie knew and he made sure that no-one ever told him and double the threat to never mention it to his wife, Charlie was a good person in some ways. Cake loved his wife more than anything in the world, knowing about her past wouldn’t stop him loving her, but it would hurt him with no benefit to anyone, Charlie was good at keeping secrets, better at guarding them.
Cake introduced the two detectives to each other, then left back down the path to visit a screaming baby and pretend it didn’t look as ugly as he thought it did.

The body had been found that morning by some bird-watchers who’d noticed a startling amount of Corvus Coronoides in the area, a carrion eating species. The guy had been there at least a few days probably more. They had a name based on a missing persons report and a drivers license found in his wallet in his pants, Cadillac Soots.
“What kind of stupid name is Cadillac?” Charlie was looking at the body. “I blame society, his parents and then in no particular order the New World Order, George W Bush and Cecil Rhodes.”
Mannel tried to avoid looking at the body as much as he could. “He wasn’t very social, he moved to town a few months ago. Had a job at the Chinese restaurant part time, paid for a spare bed room at the Michaels household but they haven’t seen him in a week and filed a report three days back. Initial report is a heavy beating and then probable post-mortem beating.”
“He gay?”
“What?”
“Most killings like this are a former lover, if he’s gay then our suspect pool drops from half the population to about four percent maybe two percent if you believe some studies. I like to save time if possible.”
“I think he might have been. I don’t judge, we don’t judge around here.”
“Small town? Of course you do. Saves time I find personally.”
"That's a terrible attitude to have."
"Kid, look at the damage done here. You don't hurt someone like this if you didn't love the once upon a time. You don't stop hitting them long after death if it wasn't personal."
"I'd rather not have to look if I could help it thanks very much."
"Sure, pussy out if you want but this is where we solve the case most times." Charlie pulled out his phone. “We got internet or mobile phone reception up here?”
“Probably the tower is up the hill just a little bit, hidden by the trees and painted green.”
“Great.” He looked around and saw a youngish looking officer who was standing around guarding nothing in particular. “You, you look like you’re just barely scraping out of puberty. You got a phone that isn't rubbish?"
"Yes sir I do."
"Good. Get online and search the corpse's Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Grindr if you can, do it now before his mum deletes everything out of shame. Find me a name of someone local who either hated or loved him. Give us the name when you get it then we’ll go arrest him.”
Mannel looked horrified. “You can’t just arrest someone with no evidence.”
“I know that, you know that but right now there is someone with a guilty conscience just aching to confess what he did. We’ll get him, hotbox him and get a confession before dinner.”
“And if he’s innocent?”
“Then we’ll get a name of someone else who hated him or loved him and we’ll go around and around until someone snaps and admits it. Then the real work begins. Finding the evidence, matching fingerprints, disproving alibis, lawyers meetings. But we’ll get there don’t you worry.”
“This isn’t how we’re supposed to work Detective.”
“I know that kid, I’ve read the manual enough times. But this is how we find out who killed this fairy so I can go back to the city and help my mate out who’s going through a rough patch right now. Now grow up and lets get to work. You’re the one who opened this Soot Case, now it’s time to find out exactly what’s inside.”
The youngish looking policeman kept scrolling through the phone as Charlie started walking off towards the carpark, looking at pictures of a life cut short, fingers dancing slowly up, waiting for a name to pop out at him.

The End.

My Day.


I got up early this morning, around 6am or so and eventually I got out the door and went off to play soccer on the other side of the city in this field just off the Gateway motorway(annoyingly I missed the correct turn from Ipswich Road to get to the field and ended up showing up twenty minutes late and just barely getting on the field before the game started).
It was a decent game in some places but we ended up losing 4-1 after briefly coming back after half time to 1-1. I pulled my hamstring with about ten minutes left in the game and had to limp for the remaining time which didn't do us any favours but it did mean that I was unable to stop moving when I got some pace which might have freaked out some of the other team when I hobbled at them at full speed.

After the game I headed over to pick up my brother from some horse thing my dad was at and took him home where I could rest up my wounded leg. I ended up spending most of the day basically sitting around doing nothing trying to avoid the pain as much as possible.

YouTube Clip of the Day.


These ladies could beat me at soccer today. Because I can't move my leg right now.
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